FOURTEEN fantabulous months

In just a few days, Ryan will officially become a big brother.. 
I feel sad whenever daddy tells him to be a big boy since he is going to be a big brother soon. Coz to me, he is still a baby and he will always be my little baby.. 

I know it will be tough. But I am going to try hard to do good by my boy and strive to provide him with as much love and attention he needs..

I've been on leave quite a bit for the past few weeks and being at home has given me a lot of precious time to spend with Ryan.
He is a wonderful boy.. Z and I sometime lie in bed and wonder what it was that we could've done to create such a loving, adorable and good tempered little boy.

Ryan is really steady on his feet now. He is so fast that mummy has trouble keeping up with him! He loves walking around the garden and going kai kai with mummy and daddy.
He is able to bend and pick up his toys, and can throw a ball without falling over.

As Ryan had out grown his play yard, we child-proofed the entire day room to let him run around freely.. Unfortunately, Ryan is a real people person and will only sit contentedly in the play room if someone sits with him. Otherwise, he hangs on to the safety gate (which we put at the door of the playroom so he can see the maids while they are working in the kitchen) and complains. He will yell and demand for us to "open" the gate over and over again.. My poor boy.. But we can't let him out to roam freely coz he would get in to all sorts of mischief. There is just too much danger around the house. Steps and staircases, pots and vases, sharp corners, fish pond, swimming pool.. I could go on and on..
 
Ryan loves to imitate our actions. He mimics our expressions and makes funny faces and laughs. He tries to water the plants as well as sweep the floor and will wipe surfaces with a cloth.. I guess he is learning from watching the maids.. He is so enthusiastic which makes it quite difficult to get the watering can or broom back from him.

He loves rocking on the rocking horse and is obsessed with opening and closing containers.

Ryan loves books.. He will bring books to me, pat the chair and insist I "po po" (carry) him, "open" the book and sit and read the book with him. He can point at things he wants and will grab your hand to make you do stuff for him (e.g. turn pages or turn on the phone). He can also point to his nose, tongue and ears when asked.

Ryan can understand simple commands. He can pick up a toy if we ask him to.. Pet and kiss the dogs or his favourite toy, Scout.. get his shoes for a walk.. or sit on a chair and wait while we make his milk.

But he isn't exactly very obliging when we tell him "no". 
He is more demanding nowadays. Stomping his feet when he doesn't get his way..
I hope this is just a phase. ^_^

Ryan used to give us kisses whenever we asked. But for some reason, he has decided to be less generous with his kisses. Instead, Ryan will give u a pat on your back as how we "sayang" him when we put him to bed.
Now, his kisses are given out so selectively and only when he really wants to. Otherwise, no amount of encouragement, praise or bribes can make him give out a kiss. I guess that makes it all the more precious when he gives his momma a kiss.. *sigh*

His vocabulary has increased quite a bit..
Ryan can say :

• Nan nan (milk)
• Tai tai (going out)
• Open (which he uses for everything and anything!! - doors, books, phone/ipad, containers, drinks, etc..)
• Wow wow (Dog)
• Meow meow (Cat)
• Apple
• Ball
• Bird
• Car car
• Po po (carry)
• Mama 
• Dada

He is still not very consistent with the mama and dada.. He doesn't say it every time he sees me. But he will call out for me when he wants to be carried or taken out of the play room.

Ryan has never been fussy about food. So I haven't been putting much effort into his meals. Ryan eats fruit/vegetable puree with cereal for breakfast and fish/chicken/pork porridge for lunch and dinner. He gets snacks during brunch/tea time. Usually bread, biscuits or fruit. 
But of late, he has started getting bored of his porridge. I can't blame him, really. He has been having the same porridge (with no added salt or soy sauce) for the past 3-4 months. Looks like mummy has to start getting creative.. ^_^

He still takes 4-5 servings of milk a day.. consuming about 6-7 oz each feed.
We give him Nan 3 now. Simply because he doesn't like to drink cold milk and it took too much time/effort to heat up the fresh milk for every feed.

We are really lucky that Ryan is quite an independent boy. It would break my heart if he got upset everytime we left for work or missed us when we went oncall. I am actually happy that he is well adjusted and is happy with the company of his ah kong, ah ma, ah ku, ah kim or the maids. He doesn't cry when we leave for work. And when Z and I go out, he can wave bye bye and throw us a flying kiss from the door.

Z and I hope that Ryan will teach his little sister to be as loving and cheerful as he is. ^_^ I think Ryan is going to be a great big brother and I'm glad that he will soon have a little sister to play with and keep him company. 

The Greatest Love

Everybody writes about the love they feel for their children. How it is indescribable, Incomparable, indestructible..

I love my son. I love my unborn daughter. The love I feel for them is as instinctual as it is necessary for me to love my own arm or leg. An innate love which is genetically ingrained for the purpose of self preservation. They are an extension of me. I don’t need reasons to love them. I just do.

But this post isn't about how much I love my children.

As controversial as this may sound, to me.. the love of my life, is.. my husband.

I never truly knew what it meant to love somebody until I met him.

Though I love my children as much as I need air to breathe, the love I feel for my husband is of a different kind completely.

It is a greater love because I love him even though I don’t need to.

I love him even though sometimes, I don’t want to.

We love each other because we choose to.

It is not nurturing or comforting.

It is passionate and all consuming.

4 years down the road, my heart can still flutter when I think about him.

I am not the best wife there is out there. In fact, I am far from it.

I don’t cook him hot meals to come home to. 

I don’t bake cupcakes or hot pies.

I don’t clean (much) or iron his shirts..

I never do as he says.

We argue about the littlest things.

And we are both stubborn as hell..

I am definitely not your average domestic housewife.

Sometimes I wonder why he loves me..

And I worry he will realise one day how inadequate a wife I really am and run off with a pretty young thing who can cook, clean, sew and cater to his every whim and fancy.

This past year has been especially tough on us. Kids, family, finances, work.. Lots of things to think about and stress over..

Although we have our ups and downs, I know deep in my heart that we will overcome every obstacle that comes our way.

As sure as I know if I tell him to leave in screaming a rage, he will still be here, by my side, wiping away my tears.

20 years down the road, our kids will grow up and lead lives of their own.

That is just the way life is. I don’t believe in investing my whole life into my children. Unlike some parents who hope their children will be by their side until the day they die, I think children should grow up, find their own soul mates and build a life of their own.

It is our partners whom will be there with us during our twilight years.

And it is with Z that I want to spend my whole life with.

Although I say otherwise when I am upset, I know I will never love another man the way I love him.

And I pray I will be lucky enough to have my soul mate by my side till the very end of my days.. 

Our second bump at Term

Our baby girl is finally term.. She is ready to come out at any time and we are more than ready to welcome her.

I had actually decided against inducing labour at 38 weeks.The prolapse symptoms were minimal and I had taken leave from work.. I decided I'd just take it easy at home and wait for spontaneous labour.

But our visit to Dr Paul at PMMC yesterday threw all my plans out of the window (again).
I always suspected my amniotic fluid was on the low side.. During the last scan, it was borderline at an AFI of 8. But my tummy does look really small and baby girl's movements are very pronounced. My tummy literally jumps when she moves (as you can see from the video above ^_^)
But I didn't realise it was So low.. Dr Paul only managed to get an AFI of 3-5 this time..

In addition to that, baby girl is also pretty small.. Her estimated weight is only 2.5kgs.. =( But as she is already pretty deeply engaged, we are hoping that it is an underestimation..

Dr Paul didn't seem worried. He planned for induction the week after next.
It would give baby a bit of time to grow, as well as give the baby an opportunity to go into spontaneous labour (avoiding the possible complications of an induction).

But after much discussion with Z, my colleagues and my family. We felt it wasn't worth the risk to wait another 10 days. At this point, baby girl probably won't be gaining much weight as the placental function decreases and 10 days is probably not going to help much.. The benefits of waiting just outweighed the risks related to oligohydramnios..
Not to mention the amount of anxiety I would be going through everyday.

So we are going ahead with the induction at 38 weeks which will be on Tuesday, 2nd October 2012. I thought I would be less anxious this time round.. But the possibility of complications is higher so I am trying hard to stay calm and relaxed.

I am praying for my baby girl to be strong and to come out vigorous and healthy.
Meanwhile, last minute preparations are under-way. We are all stocked up and ready to go!

Red red Roseola

We never learned much about Roseola in medical school.
So I was surprised to find how common this viral infection was among infants.

Roseola (a.k.a Exanthema subitum - sudden rash) is caused by Human Herpes Virus 6 and 7 and it infects over 90% of children by age 2.

Ryan has had bouts of the flu and cough over the past year, but this was the first time he had a fever.  
It started off with a bit of a cough which went off after a few days.
The following week, I came home from work to find he was running a temperature.
He was active as ever. Running around the garden and eating as usual.
But when night time came, his temperature shot up and he became fretful.
It was worrying.. He was burning up with temperatures of 39-40 degrees Celsius. 
But he was otherwise absolutely well. No cough or runny nose..

It was through the mummy's forum that I got to know that majority of their children had gotten similar symptoms.. High fever (up to 40 degrees) for 3 days, without any other symptoms. And once the fever subsides, a rash would appear all over the body.

So when the fever subsided, I was not surprised to find Ryan covered in rose coloured maculopapular rashes. The rash started over his trunk and spread towards his face and extremities  It did not itch or bother him in any way at all. And it completely cleared up within 3 days.

Had I not heard from other mothers about Roseola, I would've thought Ryan had the measles or rubella! This goes to show how important a mother's knowledge and intuition is..

I was up for 3 consecutive nights, sponging Ryan and trying the keep his brains from getting fried. Haha.. But other than paracetamol, tepid sponging and keeping him well hydrated, there was little else to do. It blew in and out as quickly as a storm cloud.
And soon, I had my cheerful little boy back.

I guess the most important thing is to differentiate between Roseola and more sinister infections like Measles and Rubella.

A child with Measles would be more ill.. with a runny nose, cough or conjunctivitis. 
Presence of Koplik spots in the mouth (small red lesions with a raised white centre) are pathognomonic. 
The rash spreads downwards from the face, neck, body and finally feet. (The rash is worst on the face). It usually lasts about 5 days and as the rash disappears, there will be a brownish discoloration of the skin which slowly subsides.

A child with Rubella would also be more infirm than a child with Roseola. He would be lethargic, and have a runny nose or conjunctivitis.
The rash is a slightly lighter hue and smaller than measles and starts on the forehead/face spreading downwards to the body and extremities. (The rash is usually worse on the trunk). It usually lasts about 3 days and there should not be any brownish discoloration as the rash disappears. That would differentiate it from Measles.

Here is a useful chart I found from "The Open Vaccine Journal, 2010, 3, 65-68"

Our second bump at 35 weeks

35 weeks now..I've certainly gotten much bigger.. ^_^

We went to see Dr Paul at PCMC yesterday and baby girl seem to be doing well.

She is already 2.1kgs! 

We discussed delivery options again and I have pretty much decided against a C-sec.
So most likely, we will be going for an induction on October 2nd when baby girl is term (38 weeks). 

It was not an easy decision.

I feel a little sad missing out on the excitement of a spontaneous labour. But Z says "who want's that kind of excitement! I would rather have a nice calm drive to the hospital".

I also wondered if inducing her earlier for what seems to be my benefit, was selfish.. but Dr Paul assures us that the risks involved in delivering at 38 weeks is minimal. An elective C-sec would also be done when I am not yet in labour..

(But I am secretly still hoping that she might decide to come out on her own at the end of September and save mummy and daddy the trouble of making a decision.. ^_^)

I had a terrible bout of viral fever 2 weeks back.

I had high fever and was coughing uncontrollably. My whole body ached and due to excessive coughing, I managed to strain the intercostal muscles on both sides of my ribs, causing sheer agony with each cough.. I could not sleep for that entire duration.. Waking up from sleep and coughing till I threw up..

It was so bad I had to go to the A&E to get a throat swab to rule out H1N1.

The only up side to this episode was that Ryan was not badly affected. He did get a little bit of a cough and the sniffles, but I stuffed him full of Virgin Coconut Oil which I read does wonders to help fight a cold. I would've been heart broken if Ryan had to go through what I did..   

Bought this bottle of VCO from Newlife in SS2

I think VCO is great.. Never knew it was so beneficial till some mummies in the forum recommended it.. Will continue to give Ryan this daily. 

This pregnancy has certainly been a lot tougher on me. Perhaps it was due to the poor spacing.. Or that I am kept busy with Ryan. But I really don't remember being this drained when I was carrying Ryan. Although my prolapse symptoms have not worsened, I have been having pretty bad joint pains involving my back and my right hip. Walking and bearing weight is difficult. Getting up from sitting position is torture. And to make matters worse, I can't get enough rest after work due to insomnia (which is something I also experienced in the 3rd trimester while preggers with Ryan).

Anyhow, the excitement is certainly building up..
Only 3 more weeks to go! ^_^

I can't wait to see what my baby girl will look like.. Hope she has as much hair as Ryan did! =P 

Meanwhile, I have been distracting myself with retail therapy. =)

Shopping for girls is so much more fun than shopping for boys.(Poor Ryan! ^_^)

Although I am trying hard not to spend too much, I couldn't resist when Brands Outlet in Ikano went on sale. I am extremely happy with my loot.. Some rompers were only going for RM5!!